Tuesday, August 16, 2011

My Potato Chips: A Socio-Historical Account


The population of the potato chip settlement at my desk is approximately 18. They are all in the same family, the Salt & Pepper Flavored family. They immigrated from Brooklyn this morning. One of them, a baby, didn't make the journey.

Deviating from
traditional migration patterns, the chips made their migration in their original bag. Sociologists have been able to identify a couple of reasons for this. One is that previous migrations were so heavy that the ancestral homeland of the chips was nearly depleted by this morning. The second reason is that there were no more sandwich bags.

Even casual observers note that the Salt & Pepper chips are already having a significant impact on the culture of their adopted land: the Keyboard District is greasy, there are crumbs in Chairsville, and the finger population has been very profoundly impacted.

Driven either by these new developments or merely by prejudice, an influential anti-immigrant movement has arisen among "nativist" populations, like Vase of Fake Flowers and Chicken Sandwich. Many Chips point out that the latter of these groups arrived no earlier than Chips themselves, but being more carefully packaged and perceived as more "substantial," Chicken Sandwich assimilated almost immediately whereas the Chips maintained much more of their native culture.

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